Want to try eating a bit louder? They can't hear you in Norway.
I didn't know serial shaggers were so sensitive.
Keep your voice down.
So you've read it?
Victor, or whoever he is, can kiss my backside. It's all lies.
I'm sure Eva would be very interested in your denials.
I don't care what she thinks.
And you're ashamed of me?
How could they?
You don't even know that this Victor is telling the truth.
She's always hanging round him.
"Hi Danny!"
It's the truth. I know it.
I'm having it out with him face to face.
Don't give them the satisfaction.
Why? They've had plenty of that already in the toilets, in the pub.
God knows where else!
You've got to tell Eva it's all lies.
I thought we were cool with keeping it quiet.
You mean you're cool with it and you hope I'll play along.
You said we could keep things casual.
Now you've changed your mind? You're going to tell Eva all about us?
Victor's done that already, Danny.
But she will believe me if you back me up, just tell her it didn't happen.
But it did.
Please, you know how much like her.
If it finishes with her, it finishes with us. It's that simple.
Fine.
I promise, I'll deny it all.
Cheers, Babe. You're a star. Gotta go.
You auditioning for Nuts magazine?
Come to see a man about a bog.
Do you know who this Victor guy is?
No. He's just a blogger. It's probably a girl, they do most of the bitching.
It's all lies Babe, every word.
You're a liar.
You are deffo one jammy cow.
I would so do Danny!
Yeah, little miss innocent.
I don’t know what you're on about but nothing happened between us.
Something funny?
Eva stay cool.
If this is about this Victor blog, I'm not even discussing it.
The other night when I went to the toilet where were you and Danny?
- I didn’t know he was on a leash. - He's not, but you should be.
- Whatever he sees in you... - What's that supposed to mean?
No wonder his eyes wander.
Eva, let go! Pack it in!
Some help would be good.
Slag!
Did you see that? Stupid bitch!
You're nothing but a dirty filthy slag!
What are you doing?
I know your type, you'd shag a pogo stick if it had balls!
You're making a tit out of yourself, Eva. Nothing happened. Tell her.
What can I say? He's a horny boy.
Tell her!
I'm joking. Nothing happened, it's all lies.
Like I was gonna say, don't believe everything you hear and read.
Get her some valium or something.
It's all lies, Babe.
Silly, stupid lies. I can't believe you fell for it.
Are you okay?
What are you wearing?
- I wanted to look hot when I... - Why don't you believe me?
I'm really sorry.
I'm really, really sorry. Do you forgive me?
We'll have to get you kicking for the rugby team
I can't believe he's got away with that!
You are causing so much shit with all this. It needs to stop.
Where are you going?
Need help with anything?
No, I'm just looking thanks.
I just want to forget today ever happened.
I've forgotten already.
If I ever find out who is doing that Victor blog...
I'll kill him.
Dupe, two beers.
Who is it?
Um... My mum.
My dad's not well. They need someone at the restaurant.
Is he okay?
He's fine.
Sorry, nothing I can do.
I'll call you when I'm finished.
Don’t start. His dad is ill.
That's a good one.
You think you're so clever.
- It's not all about intellect, Vinnie. - All right, Juliet.
Don't come running to me when he craps on you from a great height.
That's 4.40.
I'll have the change back.
Service is a bit average tonight.
How many times?
I hate tuna chunks!
-Tuna steak, I said. - It's exactly the same.
It's not like steak or spam.
And virgin olive oil.
It's good for your bones.
What use are good bones to me?
What the hell is this?
Nothing!
It's... for college.
If we're clever about it, she'll never find out.
Look, I'm with Eva, Les.
If it wasn't for me covering your back there'd be no you and Eva, would there?
I don’t get it. What do you want?
Not much.
Just a little gratitude.