WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.350 align:middle line:90% [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:00:02.350 --> 00:00:04.240 align:middle line:84% -At first when I was being bullied, 00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:06.650 align:middle line:84% I didn't tell my parents, but I think 00:00:06.650 --> 00:00:08.170 align:middle line:84% they knew that something was wrong 00:00:08.170 --> 00:00:10.210 align:middle line:90% because I just wasn't myself. 00:00:10.210 --> 00:00:12.323 align:middle line:84% I'm usually a very happy and upbeat person, 00:00:12.323 --> 00:00:17.490 align:middle line:84% but I just felt really depressed and really isolated. 00:00:17.490 --> 00:00:22.540 align:middle line:84% There was one occasion where one of the bullies, the main girl 00:00:22.540 --> 00:00:24.725 align:middle line:84% that bullied me, came up to me and said, 00:00:24.725 --> 00:00:26.600 align:middle line:84% "Maybe if you'd looked after your mum better, 00:00:26.600 --> 00:00:28.610 align:middle line:84% she wouldn't have gotten cancer". 00:00:28.610 --> 00:00:33.250 align:middle line:84% And that was such a traumatic experience for me 00:00:33.250 --> 00:00:36.520 align:middle line:84% because even to this day, sometimes when I'm 00:00:36.520 --> 00:00:38.990 align:middle line:84% feeling really low, I still blame myself 00:00:38.990 --> 00:00:41.840 align:middle line:84% for my mum getting sick, even though rationally I know 00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:44.800 align:middle line:90% it had nothing to do with me. 00:00:44.800 --> 00:00:46.654 align:middle line:90% Bullies make you doubt yourself. 00:00:46.654 --> 00:00:48.570 align:middle line:84% And I think that's really what happened to me, 00:00:48.570 --> 00:00:51.000 align:middle line:84% and that's why it was so horrible and so 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:53.590 align:middle line:90% difficult to move on from. 00:00:53.590 --> 00:00:55.400 align:middle line:90% I was really depressed. 00:00:55.400 --> 00:00:59.560 align:middle line:84% I self-harmed while I was in school and for several years 00:00:59.560 --> 00:01:04.170 align:middle line:84% after I left because it was the only way-- it 00:01:04.170 --> 00:01:07.560 align:middle line:84% was the only release that I had and the only way that I 00:01:07.560 --> 00:01:11.360 align:middle line:84% felt able to cope with my experience. 00:01:11.360 --> 00:01:18.050 align:middle line:84% And I attempted suicide and ended up in hospital. 00:01:18.050 --> 00:01:22.920 align:middle line:84% And that was really hard for my family and really hard for me. 00:01:22.920 --> 00:01:24.990 align:middle line:84% A lot of the time I'm quite ashamed of it now, 00:01:24.990 --> 00:01:29.180 align:middle line:84% but it was just what I had to do at the time. 00:01:29.180 --> 00:01:32.240 align:middle line:84% But I wish I hadn't got to that point. 00:01:32.240 --> 00:01:35.676 align:middle line:84% I really wish I hadn't felt the need to do it. 00:01:35.676 --> 00:01:39.710 align:middle line:84% And it was at that point that I realised I have to change this. 00:01:39.710 --> 00:01:44.290 align:middle line:84% I have to make the best of a really horrible experience 00:01:44.290 --> 00:01:46.550 align:middle line:84% and use it to drive me forward, use 00:01:46.550 --> 00:01:51.530 align:middle line:84% it to make me want to succeed and have an amazing future. 00:01:51.530 --> 00:01:55.700 align:middle line:84% I think the best advice that I could give is: tell someone. 00:01:55.700 --> 00:01:59.710 align:middle line:84% And as cliche as that sounds, it really does help. 00:01:59.710 --> 00:02:02.021 align:middle line:84% As soon as I told my parents what was happening 00:02:02.021 --> 00:02:03.770 align:middle line:84% and as soon as I went to the school, I did 00:02:03.770 --> 00:02:08.139 align:middle line:84% feel better because I felt like the whole situation wasn't 00:02:08.139 --> 00:02:09.590 align:middle line:90% resting on my shoulders. 00:02:09.590 --> 00:02:11.020 align:middle line:90% I had people to support me. 00:02:11.020 --> 00:02:13.080 align:middle line:90% I had people to help me. 00:02:13.080 --> 00:02:14.720 align:middle line:84% Because of what I've been through, 00:02:14.720 --> 00:02:18.740 align:middle line:84% it's OK sometimes to actually give myself a break and say, 00:02:18.740 --> 00:02:20.330 align:middle line:84% actually, I don't have to do that. 00:02:20.330 --> 00:02:23.130 align:middle line:84% I don't have to put myself under that stress. 00:02:23.130 --> 00:02:25.160 align:middle line:84% I think that's the most important thing 00:02:25.160 --> 00:02:27.020 align:middle line:90% I've learned about myself. 00:02:27.020 --> 00:02:29.640 align:middle line:84% And I've also learned that I'm a much stronger person 00:02:29.640 --> 00:02:31.810 align:middle line:90% than I thought I was. 00:02:31.810 --> 00:02:34.520 align:middle line:90% Really, I pity the bullies. 00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:37.720 align:middle line:84% I know that they had a lot going on in their own lives, 00:02:37.720 --> 00:02:40.610 align:middle line:84% some really difficult things going on in their own lives. 00:02:40.610 --> 00:02:42.190 align:middle line:84% But at the same time, I still don't 00:02:42.190 --> 00:02:44.360 align:middle line:84% think that justifies what they did to me. 00:02:44.360 --> 00:02:46.630 align:middle line:84% So if they hadn't been so horrible to me, 00:02:46.630 --> 00:02:50.260 align:middle line:84% I would feel really sorry for them. 00:02:50.260 --> 00:02:52.950 align:middle line:84% My future is really positive now because I 00:02:52.950 --> 00:02:56.490 align:middle line:84% don't feel like there are any limits to what I can do. 00:02:56.490 --> 00:02:58.980 align:middle line:84% I don't feel held back by my experience. 00:02:58.980 --> 00:03:01.900 align:middle line:84% I don't feel held back by my mental health. 00:03:01.900 --> 00:03:06.040 align:middle line:84% I just feel like I can move forward, be happy, make 00:03:06.040 --> 00:03:09.050 align:middle line:84% friends, spend time with my family, 00:03:09.050 --> 00:03:12.100 align:middle line:84% and experience new things, better things. 00:03:12.100 --> 00:03:17.670 align:middle line:90% 00:03:17.670 --> 00:03:20.910 align:middle line:84% A lot of the time people think that the victims of bullying 00:03:20.910 --> 00:03:24.380 align:middle line:84% are weak, but that's very far from the truth. 00:03:24.380 --> 00:03:27.604 align:middle line:84% Because after having such a traumatic experience, 00:03:27.604 --> 00:03:29.395 align:middle line:84% to be able to build yourself back up again: 00:03:29.395 --> 00:03:31.020 align:middle line:84% you're not a victim, you're a survivor. 00:03:31.020 --> 00:03:33.970 align:middle line:90% [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:03:33.970 --> 00:03:42.144 align:middle line:90%